Supporting children and young people impacted by domestic abuse

In the second of a series of articles on domestic abuse Anjum Mouj focuses on the impact that DA has on children

Domestic abuse can have a profound and lasting impact on children and young people who are exposed to it. As a result, it is essential that support services are available to help them cope and recover from the trauma they have experienced.

In the UK, there are several organisations and resources available to support children and young people impacted by domestic abuse:

NSPCC: The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children provides a range of support services for children and young people who have been affected by domestic abuse. They offer a helpline, online resources, and therapeutic services to help children cope with the trauma they have experienced.

Childline: Childline is a free, confidential helpline for children and young people in the UK. They offer support and advice to children who have been affected by domestic abuse, including emotional support, safety planning, and referrals to local services.

Women's Aid: Women's Aid is a national charity that works to end domestic abuse against women and children. They offer a range of services, including a 24-hour helpline, support for children and young people, and advocacy services.

The Hideout: The Hideout is an online resource for children and young people affected by domestic abuse. It provides information, advice, and support to help young people understand what domestic abuse is, how to stay safe, and how to get help.

Barnardo's: Barnardo's is a children's charity that provides support services for children and young people impacted by domestic abuse. They offer therapeutic services, safety planning, and support groups for children and young people who have experienced domestic abuse.

Child protection services: If you are concerned about a child who may be at risk of domestic abuse, you can contact your local child protection services. They can provide advice and support and take steps to protect the child from harm.

It is important to remember that children and young people impacted by domestic abuse may have complex emotional and psychological needs and may require ongoing support to help them recover from the trauma they have experienced. The organisations listed above can provide a range of services to support children and young people, and can help to connect them with other resources and services in their local area.

Supporting children and young people impacted by domestic abuse is crucial to helping them cope with the trauma and move forward. Here are some ways to provide support:

They may find it challenging to speak about their experiences of domestic abuse. When they do, it is essential to listen to them and believe what they say.

They may feel isolated, scared, and vulnerable. They need emotional support to cope with their feelings. Be there for them, show them love, and give them a safe space to express themselves.

They may require practical help to manage their daily routine. For instance, helping them with schoolwork, cooking, and cleaning can ease their burden.

Specialist services such as counselling, therapy, and support groups can help children and young people cope with their experiences of domestic abuse. Provide them with access to such services.

Children and young people impacted by domestic abuse are at risk of harm. Ensure their safety by making necessary arrangements to protect them.

Educate children and young people about healthy relationships and empower them to stand up against abuse.

Practical Strategies for Building Resilience for survivors of domestic abuse

Survivors of domestic abuse may experience long-lasting effects, including emotional trauma, anxiety, and depression. Building resilience can help survivors cope with these effects and develop the strength to move forward. Here are some practical strategies for building resilience for survivors of domestic abuse:

Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist who can provide a safe and supportive environment. It can be helpful to talk to someone who has experienced similar abuse and can understand the emotional trauma.

Practicing self-care can help survivors feel more in control and empowered. This can include engaging in regular exercise, meditation, deep breathing exercises, healthy eating, and restful sleep.

Develop coping strategies that can be used when feeling overwhelmed or triggered. This can include breathing exercises, positive affirmations, mindfulness, or finding a healthy distraction, such as listening to music or taking a walk.

Setting boundaries is an important part of building resilience. Survivors should identify what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior from others and communicate these boundaries clearly.

Building a support system is important for survivors of domestic abuse. This can include family, friends, support groups, or professional therapists.

If the abuse involves physical violence or stalking, survivors should seek legal protection. This can include restraining orders or protective orders.

Focusing on personal goals can help survivors develop a sense of purpose and direction. This can include career goals, educational goals, or personal development goals.

Survivors may need professional help to address the emotional trauma caused by domestic abuse. This can include therapy or counselling to help cope with anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Remember, building resilience takes time, and survivors of domestic abuse may face setbacks. It is essential to have patience, practice self-compassion, and continue to work towards healing and growth.

Practical Strategies for Building Resilience in children who are survivors of domestic and sexual abuse

Survivors of domestic and sexual abuse, especially children, are vulnerable to a range of emotional and psychological challenges, such as anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). However, building resilience can help them recover from the trauma and lead a fulfilling life. Here are some practical strategies for building resilience in children who are survivors of domestic and sexual abuse:

Provide a Safe and Supportive Environment: One of the essential ways to build resilience in children is to provide a safe and supportive environment. It is crucial to ensure that the child is protected from any harm or abuse, and their physical and emotional needs are met. This includes providing a stable and predictable routine, a safe and comfortable living space, and access to healthcare services.

Foster Positive Relationships: Positive relationships with caring adults and peers can help children develop a sense of belonging and support. Encourage the child to build healthy relationships with trusted family members, friends, or mentors who can provide emotional support and guidance.

Encourage Self-Care: Teaching self-care strategies can help children develop coping skills and build resilience. Encourage the child to engage in activities they enjoy, such as hobbies, sports, or creative pursuits. Teaching relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga, can also be helpful.

Focus on Strengths and Skills: Help the child to recognize their strengths and skills. Encourage them to focus on their talents and interests and to set goals to develop new skills. This can help build a sense of achievement and self-confidence.

Provide Opportunities for Learning and Growth: Children who are survivors of abuse may feel stuck and unable to move forward. Providing opportunities for learning and growth can help them gain a sense of control and direction. This can include opportunities for education, volunteering, or learning new skills.

Address Trauma: Trauma can affect a child's ability to build resilience. It is essential to address trauma by providing support and resources to help the child heal. This may include counseling, therapy, or other trauma-focused interventions.

Build Resilience Together: Building resilience is a team effort. Encourage the child to work together with family members, friends, or professionals to develop strategies to build resilience. This can help them feel supported and connected, which is crucial for building resilience.

Validate their feelings: It's essential to validate children's feelings and let them know that it's okay to feel a range of emotions, including anger, sadness, and fear. Encourage them to express their emotions in a healthy way, such as through drawing, writing, or talking to a trusted adult.

Teach problem-solving skills: Encourage children to identify problems and help them develop problem-solving skills. This can help them feel more empowered and better equipped to handle challenges in the future.

Provide education on abuse prevention: Teach children about healthy relationships and boundaries, and educate them on how to recognize and prevent abuse. This can help them feel more in control and empowered in their relationships.

Provide access to mental health support: It is important for children who have experienced trauma to have access to mental health support. This can include therapy, counseling, or support groups. Encourage children to seek help when needed and provide resources and referrals as necessary.

Foster a sense of purpose and meaning: Encourage children to engage in activities that give them a sense of purpose and meaning, such as volunteering, participating in community service, or pursuing a passion or talent.

Celebrate achievements and progress: Celebrate the child's achievements and progress, no matter how small. This can help them feel valued and supported, and build their confidence and self-esteem.

Remember that building resilience is a process, and it takes time. It is essential to provide ongoing support and encouragement to help the child develop the skills they need to thrive

Anjum Mouj is a skilled consultant and trainer. Between 1987 and 2000 she worked for a number of voluntary sector groups including the London Black Women’s Project, a national Domestic and Sexual Abuse project that supports women and girls fleeing violence and abuse, where she managed major government funded projects. She currently works with the NSPCC, the Premier League and EW Consultancy to develop and deliver bespoke courses as a lead trainer, focusing particularly on unconscious bias, Domestic Abuse safeguarding adults and children  and child protection, including working with trauma and chronic post-traumatic stress.  Anjum is on the Board of Trustees for Queer Britain, Imaan Muslim LGBTQi Group and a non-executive Director of Red Snapper Group.